


Everything Changes

by ineverwritebutwhatever



Category: Mumintroll | Moomins Series - Tove Jansson, 楽しいムーミン一家 | Moomin (Anime 1990)
Genre: Angst and Fluff, Future Fic, Happy Ending tho, Introspective heavy fic, Maybe OOC, Moomintroll can't sleep during winter, Multi, Snufkin has a tail and paws because i say so, also I dont have a beta reader so please forgive any mistakes, also don't worry there's not a lot of angst, growing up fic, just a bit, the author is projecting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-05-12 15:23:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19231828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ineverwritebutwhatever/pseuds/ineverwritebutwhatever
Summary: Moomintroll hasn't been able to hibernate for a few years, and finds that this spring he's suddenly realizing that he and his friends may not all be the same as they always were.





	Everything Changes

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!  
> This is my very first Moomin fic, so I really hope you'll enjoy! Honestly this story that was supposed to be a tiny itty bitty one shot but ended up being 15860 words!  
> Also if you enjoy, or had any thoughts about the fic please let me know! (comments are my lifeblood).  
> And If enough people like this I might work more on my other Moomin wips!  
> 

It had been a long time ago that Moomintroll had met his dearest of friends Snufkin.

 

Even despite the time that had passed, he could still remember their first meeting as clear as if it had happened yesterday. Him and Sniff had been travelling together in search of answers about the mysterious comet that had been heading for MoominValley. When on one night they’d quite accidentally stumbled upon the Vagabond. Becoming almost instant friends.

 

So quickly had they become friends in fact, that it seemed that they had somehow always known one another. Moomintroll having felt almost smitten when the charming little Mumrik had peeked out of his tent asking for coffee. The other seeming to feel similarly taken with Moomintroll as soon as he had mentioned his love for the stars. That first night they had talked for a long time after Sniff had fallen asleep. Talking about the stars they both loved which twinkled so lovely in the clear night sky. 

 

Since then a lot has changed. Although in a lot of ways it’s also stayed almost exactly the same.

 

Or at least that’s what Moomintroll liked to think. He felt that the truly important things in life would always stay the same. Figuring that it was simply the way of life. Him and all of his friends would travel the same comfortably well known paths of adventure and companionship, his parents would be kind and comforting, and Moominvalley would be his home. All of them together till the end of time.

 

Yes, Moomintroll thought, love and friendship and family, that will always stay the same at the roots. No matter the path all of them travelled on, it would always be the same at the core.

 

The path that him and Snufkin walked on had started when the Mumrik decided after that first chance encounter, and subsequent friendship that he would come visit Moominvalley every year after. 

 

Although it had not been so simple and clear cut a decision at the start. 

 

It had been more that the first time Snufkin had been leaving Moominvalley, Moomin had gotten so upset about his being gone, that in trying to comfort him the Mumrik had said that they might meet once more. And although he said this as a sort of off handed comment in order to calm the young Moomintroll, the very next spring, seemingly to both of their surprises, Snufkin found himself back in Moominvalley. Which, considering the very nature of the young Mumrik was supremely surprising. 

 

Snufkin, was simply not the type of creature to be tied to any particular place. But after that first spring that he had returned, it had somehow become expected to have Snufkin returning to Moominvalley every year. Before this had happened the very idea that Snufkin would have a place to return to if he so pleased was so ridiculous that the Mumrik probably would have laughed at the very notion. As it so completely went against most everything he stood for. But now it seemed unthinkable that he wouldn’t return for the warmer months of the year.

  
  


And now it was almost time for Snufkin to return again. Moomin was so excited to see his friend he almost couldn’t stand. He felt like there was an excitement bubbling out of him. So much excitement in fact, that he had to work very hard to keep his arms from flapping wildly about as he sat on their bridge and looked off into the woods. Staring intently at the spot where Snufkin would emerge from the woods. He only kept himself from being overwhelmed by his emotions by reminding himself that he would have to wait a few weeks more before he could even begin to hope to see the Mumrik again. 

 

Yes, the fact that he would have to wait even a short time to see his best friend was a truly sobering thought, especially since he had been waiting for such a long time to see his dear Snufkin. In fact he had been waiting since the first snowfall of the year had come, which had been uncharacteristically early. Moomin comforted himself a bit though with the fact that although he missed his friend so very much it wasn’t nearly as bad an ache as it used to be. 

 

In fact Moomin could clearly remember one spring when Snufkin had been late arriving back in Moominvalley, and he had become physically ill with the force of his longing to see him. Even worse than that was in their first years of friendship he tended to miss the Mumrik so much when he was away, that it had made him feel miserable well before it had even been time for them to part.

 

Of course now that he was older it seemed a bit silly how much Moomin had dreaded Snufkins leaving Moominvalley. Especially when he had hardly had to spend any time at all without Snufkin. Now that he was a bit older he could see how exceptionally generous Snufkin was with his time, staying nearly the whole year. Only leaving when his family was hibernating in winter.

 

It seemed to Moomin that Snufkin staying somewhere so long, and rooting himself was by far the greatest gift he could’ve possibly received from the wandering Mumrik. So generous was this gift in fact that he sometimes wondered why it had felt like such a big deal for Snufkin to need to leave. How could he have been so anxious when Snufkin was there from the time he woke up to the time he fell asleep?

 

Of course, Snufkin being there the whole time Moomin was awake was no longer the case. The fact of the matter was that nowadays Moomin spent nearly the whole winter awake and waiting for Spring to come. 

 

It had all started that one year that him and Little My had woken up in the middle of the winter and spent the whole rest of it awake together. It seemed that ever since then he simply couldn’t stay asleep the whole winter through. No matter how hard he snuggled warm into his bed.

 

Of course when this all had first started he had been quite distressed about it. A Moomin was meant to hibernate, or at least that’s what his parents had always said. So it had felt very awful to Moomin that he wasn’t able to properly follow his nature when he kept waking up every year. It had thrown him to no longer be able to fall into the world of dreams as easily as he fell onto his old mattress. 

 

The truly distressing part of it all however, was less the seeming change in his nature, and more the fact that every other creature in MoominValley, save for Too-Ticky, slept all through the winter months. Which left him quite alone. The second winter when Little My had not woken up with him, it had felt like some terrible spell had been cast, that no matter how he shook their shoulders no one else in the house roused more than a little bit from their slumber. Only waking up briefly to tell him to go back to sleep before rolling back over on their side.

 

Moomin having been a clingy boy by nature was left feeling quite alone for quite a long time. So much so that the first month of winter he had been able to do little more than mope about. Depending on Too-Ticky to take care of him the whole while, as he hadn’t the will or know how to do it himself. It had simply been far too much time alone. 

 

Worse yet was that being without his family and friends reminded him of his youth by himself, when he had been lost. It had made him worry sometimes that he had simply dreamed up the reunion with Mamma and Pappa, and that he was once again on his own. That Moominvalley, his parents, Little My, Snorkmaiden, and even Snufkin had all been a dream. 

 

This dread in his stomach had been at its absolute worst in the fourth year that this had happened. That was the year that he had finally become self-sufficient enough to not rely on Too-Ticky as much as he had been.

 

You see by the fourth year he had somehow found his footing in the Winter months. The first few years of winter he had been very lost in understanding what winter even meant, let alone how he should try to survive it on his own. He hadn’t understood the snow nor the creatures of winter. Didn’t know the winter plants, what was safe to eat, or what to do with the things he could eat. Didn’t know how to safely cut holes in the ice to fish. Didn’t know how to keep warm, and most of all didn’t know how to cope with the silence that came with the immense amounts of snow. Even when he had been on his own, he had Sniff. And they had never been anywhere as cold as Moominvalley got during the winter.

 

All the winters before this Too-Ticky had taken it upon herself to teach him all of the things he needed to know. Which meant he had spent those first winter's clinging onto her like a liferaft in a storm. 

 

And knowing how much he needed her help she had let him, after all she was nothing if not supremely kind and helpful. She understood those in need, knew they often simply needed comfort and help before helping themselves. She even understood the source of a lot of Moomintrolls fears, as she was one of the few creatures of the Valley who had been there long enough to know that Moomin had been lost for a long time as a child, and that it was distressing for him to be separated from his family like this. So she had gone against her mostly solitary nature to help him through those winters.

  
  


However it couldn’t last forever. And Moomintroll eventually started to figure things out. By the fourth year he was self sufficient enough to survive on his own. And no longer needed Too-Ticky to keep him from accidentally freezing his paws off, or to feed him fish stew to keep from starving in the cold. Now that he had found his footing he simply didn’t need her to spend quite so much time with him. And once he had realized this he also realised he should let her be alone to indulge in her strange winter rituals.

 

After all, having known Snufkin for several years at that point Moomin understood more than he ever thought he would, that it was cruel to force someone to be around people too much when they didn’t want to. After all that she had done for Moomin, pushing herself to help him so much, he couldn’t very well ignore her own happiness and well-being for his own now could he?

 

Not to say he was completely in solitude. They did enjoy each others company, and had formed a very nice friendship over the years. They would often share meals together, and sometimes work on projects, or spend whole days in each others company. But even with pleasant companionship Moomin spent much of his time alone. 

 

And while it had made him so lonely at first he could hardly stand it, now as he was sitting on the bridge that was still covered in a thin layer of snow, all bundled up in his winter clothes as well as the insulation from his winter coat, he found he actually quite enjoyed his time alone. And upon thinking about it he wasn’t quite sure what he would do without his time in solitude and quiet.

 

He didn’t quite know when but at some point he found himself loving the winter as much as the other seasons. He loved the way the snow sparkled in the bright sun, and all of the strange creatures that lived in the winter months. He loved the peace he found within himself when he was alone.

 

Of course, he also wondered if perhaps that was simply because he was growing more into an adult, and perhaps a love of solitude was simply a part of this. Although on the other hand Snufkin had needed solitude and wandering since they had met when they were young, so perhaps time alone was simply an acquired taste. And with plenty of it, he had acquired a taste for it.

 

Moomin groaned a bit as he sat up from the bridge, whatever the case may be he had things to get on with if he wanted dinner to eat that night. Especially since Too-Ticky had said that she thought they might be in for some late season snow. And if there was anything Moomin knew at this point it was that Too-Ticky was almost always right about things pertaining to winter.

 

_____

 

Moomin Sighed contentedly as he entered his small winter abode. He had a pot with him filled with ice to melt, a modest bundle of firewood in his bag, and enough fish in order to feed himself that night, and probably the next two days if it really came down to it. Which meant that for him the day was, for the most part over. All he really had to do was cook his food and then curl up by the embers of his fire in his small nest and sleep until the next day. He smiled as he set about stoking the fire for his stew, thinking about how nice it was to be home, where it was warm and comfortable. He loved his house.

 

In the beginning of this whole thing Moomin had simply stayed in Moominhouse in the nights, eating all the jam and visiting Too-Ticky for company and actual meals during the day. But about halfway through the second year he’d realised that he hated being in Moominhouse by himself. It was too quiet on his own when everyone was sleeping. It was spooky to be there with everything covered in cloth like a ghost town. It made his insides feel absolutely horrid to be somewhere that was supposed to be filled with life, when it was so still.

 

It had got so bad that by the end of the second year he had been so filled with loneliness that it had actually made him fall ill. Leading to him living in the bathhouse with Too-Ticky in his third year. 

 

However with the growth of his ability to function on his own during the winter, accompanied by the realization of how hard it was for Too-Ticky to accommodate him to such a degree, it all accumulated into the decision that Moomintroll would construct his own place to live.

 

After all, despite the fact that Too-Ticky would surely let him stay with her, he knew she couldn’t truly be happy with him there all of the time. After all she had never been one to stay asleep during winter, and many of her rituals and ways were quite comfortable for her to do alone. So after a point it simply felt rude to intrude upon her when he simply didn’t need to anymore. And anyways Moominpappa and Moominmamma had both taught him everything he needed to know about building things. So it only made sense that Moomin would simply build his own home to live in for those winter months. 

 

Once the decision was made it was a fairly simple task to build a proper shelter. Not to say it was an easy endeavor, as it took him a good while to find the perfect spot, and then most of that winter to collect his materials, properly prepare the space, and construct it sturdily enough. But in the end he had wound up with a perfectly small little place to rest his head. It lay far into the woods where the evergreens grew near the frozen ocean that bordered Moominvalley. In short it was secluded, sturdy, warm, and perfect.

 

That had all been three years ago now, and Moomin was happy to say that it was still perfect for what he needed. As simple as it was he found that he loved it as much as Moominhouse. Although he loved it in a different sort of way. Where Moominhouse was large and colorful, his winter home was small and made to blend in with the background as much as possible, lest anyone find it unoccupied and take up residence. Whereas Moominhouse was filled with activity, his home was filled mostly with a warm sort of sleepiness and blankets. He supposed, thinking on it while nestled in his blankets, that his two homes were simply what they were because they reflected what he needed at the time.

 

The next morning when Moomintroll woke up from his pleasant slumber he found that Too-Ticky had been right about the weather. Outside of his small house there seemed to be several more inches of snow where there hadn’t been before. Now it was  once again high enough that it would completely engulf his legs when he stepped outside.

 

At one point an extended winter may have filled him with dread, but now it simply filled him with a calm sort of contentment to see the snow he loved so dearly shining bright in the early morning light.

 

Besides knowing the winter, it was often the case that the weather would be at its very coldest right before spring came. So he simply went about his business for the day. Mostly working on the finishing touches for a new flute for Snufkin when he got back.

 

______

 

Moomin Finished the flute he had made for Snufkin just in time for the snow to truly begin thawing in earnest, and found himself quite pleased with his work. During the winter he found himself with a lot of free time that desperately needed to be filled, and since Too-Ticky was the best woodworker in the whole of MoominValley he’d asked her to teach him. And although he wasn’t sure if he would ever reach anywhere near her level of skill, it had been very fun to take up such a wonderful hobby. And besides, in the case of the flute all that really mattered was that he was happy with the sounds it produced. 

 

The day after he finished the flute he knew it was finally time to go home. Which meant that he had quite a bit to do. That morning he said goodbye to Too-Ticky. He knew that  they would see each other during the other months, but she was always very busy during the year. Running about with the Mymble’s daughter, and getting into her quiet sort of trouble, and they wouldn’t see each other as much. And anyways neither of them were quite the same during the other months as they were in the quiet of the winter. They were both much quieter in the silence of snow.

 

After saying goodbye, he had to worry about getting his things all packed up for storage during the warmer months, as well as leaving a sign that said that he would be back on the door of his house. All of that took most of the day to the point where it was practically nightfall when he finally went back to Moominhouse for the year.

 

When he arrived back at Moominhouse he was unsurprised to find that everyone else was still fast asleep, and would be until tomorrow at least before they all started rousing from their deep sleep. Moomintroll smiled to himself about his good timing, excited to get to airing out his room, cleaning his fur properly, and resting a bit before Snufkin arrived back and everyone woke up for the year. 

 

That night as he laid down in his bed, fur cleaned and his belly full of pilfered jam, Moomin realized that it was a bit small for him now he was fully grown. His feet having to curl up to avoid hanging off the edges, but he didn’t mind much. It was nice to be home again.

 

The next morning Moomintroll woke to hear the sounds of small footsteps rushing down the stairs, and his mother making noise in the kitchen as she prepared the first meal of the spring. All of these sounds of course filled him with happiness, but he strained his ears to try and hear the sound he had been waiting for. 

 

It took a long moment of laying there to hear the far away sound of a harmonica, playing his favorite tune. Moomin simply laid still for a moment, enjoying the sound of the harmonica coming closer and closer to moominhouse before pushing the covers off, and quickly climbing down the ladder from his room. 

 

Moomin looked about at the flowers as he walked briskly towards the bridge where he would meet Snufkin for the first time that spring. And found that similar to most times he thought of Snufkin he couldn’t stop his face from breaking into a wide grin as he walked.

 

Moomintroll waited until he was resting his head and arms on the railing of their bridge before giving his greeting, “Hullo Snufkin,” he said before sharing eye contact with the Mumrik before gazing at the water as he listened to the first song of spring.

 

Once the song was over Snufkin set his harmonica in his pocket and looked down at Moomintroll with an almost impossibly fond look on his face, “Moomintroll.”

 

Moomin smiled at the sound of his friends voice, which he noticed seemed just ever so slightly deeper than the last time he had seen him. Although that was not the only thing that seemed different about him. It seemed that almost every year that Snufkin seemed to grow to look more and more like both his parents. Growing to be quite fuzzy looking like the Joxter, and with antenna that were growing outside of the realm of his hair just like the Mymble. 

 

When they’d first met Snufkin had been more downy than anything else, and although he had them, his antenna were so small that they would have only been visible when his hair lay flat, which was not a common occurrence. Although Moomin had to admit, that although he liked the way his friend looked with his newer features, his very favorite thing was how his friend had only a few years ago sometimes let Moomin see his tail.

 

Moomin was thrown out of his pondering when Snufkin leaned his head to the side and gave an inquisitive little chirping noise. Which meant Moomin must have been too quiet. He found his face heating a little bit at being caught so deep in his own head, but he found it hard to suddenly adjust to having people to talk to after so many months of being on his own. The simple fact was that as the years without hibernation went on he found that he needed a bit of an adjustment period to get used to being around others again. And although it had never seemed a problem before, if he had been quiet long enough for Snufkin to wonder about it, that was probably not a very good sign.

 

“Ah. Sorry my dear, just thinking about some things. But nevermind all that! I have a present for you Snufkin,” and with that Moomin revealed the cardboard box he’d stored the flute in and handed it over.

 

Snufkin seemed to go a bit red in the face as Moomin handed him the gift, seemingly struggling with himself a bit before replying, “I’m sorry, I’m afraid I didn’t get you anything.”

 

Moomin huffed out a bit of laughter at that, “You know, I don’t really care about all of that. I’m not Sniff after all, I don’t need you to give me a shiny bauble to keep me pleased.”

 

“Ah, quite right,” Snufkin smiled at that.

 

“Well, go on and open it now. While we technically have all day, I’d rather you open it now.” Snufkin snorted at his small bit of wit and opened the box.

 

Moomin watched Snufkin’s face carefully as he pulled the flute out of the tissue paper that he had cradled it in, and found himself smiling again. The Mumriks slitted pupils had widened to near saucer like proportions, and his dark paws seemed to shake just slightly as he inspected the flute in his hands. It took him a moment before he seemed to be able to do anything but slowly inspect the instrument, stroking the delicate flower carvings with the tip of his claw.

 

“Moomin… I can’t possibly accept such a wonderful gift,” The Mumrik looked down at the instrument seemingly regretfully before timidly holding it back toward Moomin, “This must have been far too expensive for you to give it to me,” the words that seemed to go unsaid about how he hated new things and signs of wealth hung heavily unsaid between the two friends for a long moment. 

 

Moomintroll looked down at the flute and back up at his friends mournful but determined looking face before breaking out into laughter, “Oh, no, Snufkin. You’re so silly, I didn’t buy this for you,” Snufkins face warped into confusion at this which made Moomin only giggle more as he continued to speak, “Silly goose, I made it for you! And anyways our family doesn’t really believe in money, so how exactly do you suppose I could have bought this for you anyway? I mean do you remember when I helped Sniff with one of his money making schemes, Moominmamma never looked so disappointed!”

 

Snufkin looked all the more embarrassed by his assumption as Moomin continued to speak, his face turning pink under his fur as Moomin laughed at him. However when he processed the trolls words he quickly pulled the flute back towards himself, “you really made this?” he asked voice barely a whisper.

 

“Well of course. I thought it would be nice to give you something to remember me by while you’re away on your trip. And anyways the gift is selfish, since It’s all just a ploy to get you to play for me more.” Moomin joked.

 

Snufkin laughed at that, “Oh yes very clever, you tricking me like this. But you’ve forgotten one thing!”

 

Moomin gasped dramatically, “what could I have forgot! My scheme was perfect!”

 

Snufkin smiled fiendishly, “You forgot not to tell me what your plan was.”

 

Moomin laughed heartily at their shared nonsense, “I can’t believe it! All My planning for nothing!”

 

They both laughed for a moment longer before Snufkin collected himself enough to speak again, pulling his hat down over his face, “but really, thank you Moomintroll it’s a truly lovely flute,” Snufkin looked up from under the brim of his hat again, revealing the skin under his downy fur to be a lovely shade of pink, “but how did you manage to find the time to carve this? We spent almost every day together last year, and I don’t remember you doing any sort of woodworking. And it seems that you made this far too skillfully for it to be a rushed sort of thing.”

 

Moomintroll laughed in a way that he hoped didn’t sound too nervous, “well Snufkin you’re just being silly again, it wouldn’t have been a surprise if you’d known I was making it now would it?”

 

Snufkin smiled at Moomin,”yes I suppose you’re right. Presents really should be a surprise shouldn’t they. Anyways, thank you very much Moomintroll. I’m excited to get to play it”

 

“And I’m excited to hear all the songs you’ll create.”

 

After their conversation was over they settled into a comfortable silence as Snufkin started messing with his new instrument to try and familiarize himself with the sounds it made. 

 

The stillness was interrupted as Little My burst out of the house, very suddenly and loudly, making Moomintroll nearly hop clean off the bridge in fright. After a near silent winter filled with muted noises and more slow paced excitement the normal loudness of Little My and the others would take some getting used to.

 

Little My scurried over to them through the grass as Moomintroll regained his composure. Making it over in record time. She had always been a very quick little creature. However she was made even quicker by the fact that she had actually grown some in recent years. No one quite knew who her father was, but it was assumed that he must be a very small creature to equal as small a creature as Little My, especially since the Mymble was such an exceptionally tall one. But nowadays it seemed that she may actually grow to be nearly as tall as some of her shorter siblings. This was surprising because it was Little My, but not so surprising in the grand scheme of things. Many creatures spent years being one way before suddenly changing completely. 

 

“Moomin! Why are you always sneaking off like that?” Little My said in her very aggressive sort of way, “It’s rude to sneak off all on your own without even saying hello to anybody after hibernation you know!”

 

“I’m sorry Little My, but I don’t think I really snuck off. I was simply saying hello to Snufkin. He just arrived back in Moominvalley you know.”

 

“Of course you snuck off! No one even heard you wake up or leave! In fact I would say going out the window to meet someone privately is almost the definition of sneaking around! Besides, we both know you’re always sneaky when it comes to meeting Snufkin!”

 

“Oh, be reasonable My, I always leave out the window. And I was going to come back in just a moment anyways. In fact, I was even going to invite Snufkin to eat with us before you interrupted,” with this he turned to his friend, “Snufkin, would you like to come to breakfast? I’m sure Mamma is making something absolutely scrumptious for the first meal after hibernation.”

“I don’t see why not, although I’d prefer to sit outside.”

 

“I would too. It gets so uncomfortable to be inside when it’s so beautiful outside. In fact we should have a picnic to celebrate the start of spring.”

 

“Oh Moomin you’re absolutely impossible!” Little My said before stomping back towards Moominhouse, before abruptly turning back around, “well are you coming or not? I want to have a picnic and breakfast. I haven’t eaten in months and I’m starving!” 

 

With that, the three of them headed back to Moominhouse.

 

Moomin found himself very happy to see his mother and father up and about. For them the winter months passed by in the span of one comfortable long nap. But he felt that he hadn’t seen them in a very long time indeed. So, the first thing he did when he saw them was give them both a good squeeze. After that it was just a matter of getting everything ready for their picnic, as well as waking up Sniff who was still fast asleep in his room.

 

The picnic was good fun, Moomin hadn’t eaten anything so sweet as Mammas pancakes in months, mostly living on fish, and the winter plants, and he found himself having to eat quite a few of them before feeling satisfied. It was also quite nice to be around so many people once again.

 

Although, if he was being honest even though he enjoyed seeing everybody he was having a bit of a hard time with it all, and found himself envying Snufkin the longer the party drew on.

 

No one really expected the Vagabond to participate in conversation past what he felt like, and when he got tired of the festivities he simply left with a pancake in his paw and wandered over to his campsite to set up for the year. Moomin felt on the other hand that he was expected to keep up in conversation, and even in some cases be the center of a conversation between several people at once, and it felt much harder than he remembered it being last year. 

 

It seemed to him that everyone had simply resumed right where they left off, while he… hadn’t. Little My was even talking about something they had done just before hibernation as if it had just happened yesterday. Which for her it basically had, while Moomin found he could barely remember what she was talking about at all. As well as that it seemed to him that everyone was getting louder and louder as the day continued on, and Moomintroll found himself wanting to cover his ears to hide from the seemingly ceaseless noise.

 

By the time that they had all been out there for a few hours Moomintroll found himself longing for the silence of newfallen snow. Thinking longingly of the way that the snow glittered in the sun and everything moved slowly and quietly.

 

Almost as soon as the thought formed he found himself panicking at it. When had he become someone who craved silence? He really wasn’t sure. He had always loved to be the center of attention in the past. Loved the wild happiness of a lively get together, and hated being alone. Admittedly last year, and the years before he had gotten a few looks and questions about his newfound quietness, but he hadn’t really thought himself any different than before. At least not really in any way that mattered. In fact privately he had proudly thought himself to be becoming a more balanced sort of Moomin. But now with the need to flee building up in his chest sharp claw he worried that perhaps he had not found balance at all.

 

Worse was that as he worked himself up the noises of the picnic seemed only to grow louder, with a few more people from Moominvalley coming over and joining in on the festivities as they dragged on. Until it reached the point where he realised he needed to get out. So he excused himself, stating that his fingers were sticky from jam, and quickly went back to Moominhouse for a moment of reprieve.

 

As soon as Moomin was inside of the house he allowed himself to give into the urge to run, and ran up the stairs to his room before closing the door a bit harder than might really have been necessary. For a long moment he simply stood there, trying desperately to calm down his breathing and control his thoughts.

 

It took a few minutes but he did feel much calmer having had a moment to himself in a familiar space. Although once he was calm he then immediately regretted leaving the picnic in such a rush. It hadn’t seemed like anyone had noticed his acting strangely, but there was a niggling worry that somehow they had noticed his strange behavior, and would whisper about it now that he was gone.

 

Before Moomin could properly spin himself into a panic about that particular worry there was a small tapping at his window, and when he looked up there was Snufkin, waving a bit awkwardly while perched on his sill.

 

Moomintroll rushed over to his window before pulling it open to let the Mumrik in, “Snufkin what are you doing here?”

 

Snufkin dusted off his clothes and straightened himself out a bit before answering, “Well I was sitting in the trees, and debating between a nap or going fishing. And then I saw you leave the picnic, and I thought maybe we could go for a stroll.” As he spoke Snufkin turned a bit pink again, “that is if you want to. I understand if you want to get back to everybody. I know how much you enjoy any sort of party.”

 

Moomin felt himself grow very happy at the idea of doing something quiet and calm with his dearest friend. And besides how could he deny Snufkin when his cheeks were so sweet and pink, “yes, lets go! That sounds very nice, in fact let’s make a day of it,” and with that Moomin reached under his bed for his bag. He wasn’t sure how to explain that he had a bag with so many essentials in it at the ready without Moominmamma having to help him pack, but Snufkin wasn’t one to pry so he wasn’t particularly worried about explaining his winter kit.

 

He was rewarded for his trust when Snufkin merely raised an eyebrow at the readied pack before they both went back out the window. And although Snufkin had been the one to initially suggest the meeting Moomin took the initiative to lead the way. 

 

Purposefully heading off in the opposite direction of the picnic party. He found that he could hardly stand the thought of anyone else to joining in on their adventure. He honestly just wasn’t sure if he could stand to be surrounded by so many people as their friends at the moment. And he didn’t want to deal with Little My complaining about being left out either.

 

After a good long while of walking Snufkin cleared his throat, “Say Moomin where exactly are we going?” Snufkin asked in his carefree sort of way. Moomin could feel his ears growing pink as he realized how he had hijacked their adventure, and had been leading Snufkin, quite accidentally to his winter foraging grounds which lay quite deep in the forest. It seemed that his feet had simply started going without any input from him at all.

 

“Ah I’m sorry Snufkin! To be honest I was walking a bit on autopilot. Is there anywhere you were thinking of going?”

 

Snufkin seemed to ponder this for a moment, and Moomin found himself appreciating the small scrunching that happened between his brows that caused his fur there to point out at odd angles, “No I didn’t have anywhere I particularly wanted to go, lets just see where your feet lead us. I’m quite confident I can get us back,” at this the Mumriks chest puffed out ever so slightly in pride. And Moomin found himself giggling a bit. Although he felt quite bad when he saw Snufkin seem to deflate almost instantaneously.

 

“What’s so funny?” the Mumrik asked looking like he was trying not to be offended.

 

Moomintroll waved his hand as he got control of himself, “I’m sorry it’s not funny really. it’s just… I suppose that everything you do is entertaining somehow. And I enjoyed your confidence. Although I must admit, I think my words were just a bit misleading just now,” the Mumriks eyebrow rose, “I think you thought I meant I was wandering without knowing where I was. But I know exactly where we are, and I think I know this area at least as well as you do, if not better. It was just that I was quite accidentally leading us to a very nice spot without thinking about it. I simply felt bad for leading the adventure when it was your idea in the first place to go.”

 

The Mumrik seemed to ponder this for a moment, shoulders unbunching from around his pointed little ears before nodding his head, “I see… But Moomin. I’m quite sure we hardly ever go into these parts of the forest before. Or at the very least not this deeply into the woods. How is it you’re suddenly so familiar with them?”

 

Moomintroll felt his blood run a bit cold at the question. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Snufkin, or want to tell him about things. But for him winter had accidentally become a bit of a secret.

 

The second year that he had woken up he had been all on his own, without Little My also waking up. And at the beginning of spring he had once again told Mamma and Pappa about his being unable to hibernate and being on his own. However since he had been on his own this time they had both grown so worried over him that it had caused quite a bit of stress in Moominhouse. And then the third year he hardly slept more than a day before staying up all winter, and since it had worried them so much he had decided to simply not tell them. 

 

And since he didn’t tell his parents, he didn’t tell anybody. In fact it was only with today’s distressing revelation in the change in himself that he realised  that he had accidentally accumulated quite a few secrets over the years. Secrets that he now felt quite reluctant to even think of sharing with anybody. But all that wasn’t really important just now. Because just now he had to think of something to tell Snufkin. As he suddenly felt very protective of his secrets.

 

“Well it’s not really sudden at all Snufkin. I like to spend time alone, and exploring just like every other creature on this whole wide world. And this is one of the places I like to go.” Moomin tried very hard to sound nonchalant as he spoke. He wasn’t technically lying after all, he simply wasn’t telling the whole truth.

 

Snufkin seemed to consider this for a moment before speaking again, “You’re right I spose. I guess I was just surprised. I remember you used to hardly ever do anything alone at all. Always running off with Snorkmaiden, Little My, or Sniff. I guess I forgot that it’s not just me who likes to be alone sometimes.”

 

Moomin smiled at Snufkin, “it’s alright Snufkin. I know that I was quite clingy in the first years of our friendship. I supposed in more recent years I’ve simply grown to appreciate my own company a bit more. But, enough about that, there are some delicious mushrooms that grow not far from here at all that I want you to try.” And with that they headed deeper into the woods on their adventure.

 

That night, not being able to stand the idea that their adventure and time out in the wilds would be over, Moomin and Snufkin camped underneath the stars in a clearing and slept there. Bellies full of mushrooms and jam, and ears full of Snufkin's songs and stories.

 

Moomin felt, laying on the grass, as though he could spend the rest of time simply enjoying Snufkins company. 

 

____

 

The next day when Snufkin and Moomin returned to Moominhouse it was to find everyone quite in a tizzy. As soon as the two of them entered they were surrounded by Mamma, Pappa, Little My, Sniff, and Snorkmaiden who all seemed to be clamoring to find out where they’d been.

 

This seemed odd to Moomintroll as he and his friends went off on long adventures all of the time without anybody panicking, and he said as much. Only to find out that the source of their distress was that he had left in the middle of a party only to disappear without a single trace. Which Moomin could admit might have been a bit distressing.

 

Despite his understanding of the source of their worry he still couldn’t help but find it chafing how everyone seemed so relieved to know he hadn’t simply wandered off on his own. It seemed as soon as they knew Snufkin was there to keep him from getting into trouble that the amount of worry everyone felt decreased by quite a bit. Which Moomin found a bit insulting. The fact that no one seemed to think him self sufficient enough to take care of himself for a single night was quite patronizing when speaking about an almost fully grown Moomintroll. He felt that even without knowledge of his winter time alone, he should still be expected to be able to take care of himself for a single day.

 

It seemed everyone was quick to forget how he had spent so much of his childhood separated from Mamma and Pappa. Or even the fact that he was quite a good adventurer. However he endured everyone’s worry without any real complaint, since he could admit it had been quite rude of him to leave without saying anything. Especially since they had all just woken up. And even more so since he was never the type of troll to simply up and leave on his own.

 

After everyone was done worrying and visiting and talking Little My decided that they should all go on a proper adventure together, which she stressed should be free of people sneaking off on their own. Which resulted in everyone, save for Snufkin, sleeping over at Moominhouse so they could get an early start on their adventure bright and early the next day. Although Moomin thought it was a bit silly to try and get up early when they weren’t even sure where they wanted to go.

 

That night Moomin found himself unable to sleep. His bed had been comforting that first night back home. After all, he had slept in it since he was small, but now he felt like a giant in his own room. 

 

He had, after all, grown taller than all of his other friends, and his girth had increased to match it. So even though winter left him smaller than he was at any other time of the year, he felt much too large for his bed. And it made him feel very claustrophobic, almost as though the walls were closing in on him. So much so that he found himself longing for another clear night sky spent next to Snufkin, or even better to curl up next to the embers around in his small winter home. 

 

Moomintroll found quite unpleasantly that the longer he lay there tossing and turning the more he didn’t like how noisy the house was. He could hear Sniff snoring on the ground next to his bed, and the sound of someone getting up for a cup of water, as well as the sound of the house settling after its first day of activity. All of this seemed deafening to his ears after so long surrounded by snow.

 

But when he entertained the idea of wishing it was still winter when everyone was hibernating, he found himself feeling very lonely. Eventually after feeling more and more miserable he decided that if he couldn’t sleep here he might as well sit out in the cool night and stare at the stars he loved so much. That decided he went about very quietly creeping about his room, grabbing just a blanket, and a sweater he’d knit for himself to keep warm before creeping quietly out of the window. 

 

For the rest of that night he simply stared at the stars, enjoying their soft glow until he nodded off for a bit, only to be woken up by the sweet pinks and oranges that shone through the sunrise that greeted Moominvalley. Moomin sat and watched the sunrise for a long moment before going back to his room, happy to find Sniff still snoring right where he’d left him. 

 

It only took Moomintroll a moment to hide away his sweater and get out his summer backpack, which was more often filled with snacks and fun things than anything that would assist with survival like his winter pack did. Once he was all ready to go he shook Sniff awake and they then woke up the rest of their friends, picking up Snufkin from his tent along the way.

 

It immediately became clear that none of them had considered anything to do beyond the fact that whatever it was should be fun, and Moomintroll had to fight the urge to go back home and do something he enjoyed on his own while they decided. 

 

They eventually settled on going to the beach. Thinking they could explore and find seashells. Moomin was glad he hadn’t left the adventure, since there was too much snow and ice during the winter to look for seashells. Which actually sounded like a very fun thing to do.

 

___

 

Moomin was digging a rather large moat to wrap around his sand castle when Little My and Sniff ran up to him all in a huff about something exciting they’d found. Moomin then found himself, as well as Snorkmaiden and Snufkin being dragged along the beach to see something they had never discovered before. No one caring much that he somewhat dragged his feet, wanting to continue playing in the sand.

 

However, what started off as fond exasperation quickly turned to dread as they continued on their adventure. Because the area they were in now in was very familiar to Moomin. And the more they went into the woods near the water the more sure he became that he had reason to be nervous. Although his worst suspicions were only confirmed when Little My led them into the small clearing where he had built his small home.

 

Moomintroll felt a rather large surge of anxiety when he realised his very own home was in fact the source of spectacle. And his brain immediately started spinning around with ideas of how they would look through his things, or uncover signs that he was in fact the one living there. Or perhaps even take up residence in his house for a time as some sort of clubhouse. But as his worries continued to quickly stomp about his brain he found that the ‘how’ of how they would specifically ruin his home didn’t really matter. All that really mattered was the fact that he was sure it would happen.

 

 After all, life in Moominvalley only really got interesting if you went searching for trouble. And even he had to admit that a small previously undiscovered home in the woods by the ocean, with no one to claim it as their own was a mighty fine mystery. If it wasn’t his own house they were looking at he was sure he too would’ve been excited about such a discovery.

 

Moomin found himself yanked out of his dread when he felt a hand touch lightly against his elbow, causing him to look up and meet the deep brown slitted eyes of his dearest friend Snufkin. Who seemed once again quite concerned about his behavior. Although luckily it seemed no one else in their little group had noticed his panic, too busy inspecting his home. Looking into the little window and inspecting the outside curiously.

 

As Moomin watched them doing so, he found that although he knew he’d drawn the curtains and knew he had built it solidly enough, it was still very stressful to have anybody snooping around and judging his home. It suddenly seemed that the sign he had left on the door which simply read “Back Next Winter,” was insufficient in claiming it as his own.

“Are you alright Moomintroll? Is there something wrong about this place?” The Mumrik asked, seemingly quite ready to believe that perhaps Moomin had noticed something bad about the house that the others had missed.

 

Moomin thought for a moment before looking back at his friend, “You know that sign says whoever it is will be back next winter. I don’t think it is very nice of us to go snooping around like this…”

 

Snufkin was just about to reply when they heard the sound of a lock breaking loudly. Moomin turned so quickly toward the sound he almost strained his neck, only to find that Little My had broken it by trying to open the door too roughly. Not that it had been much of a lock for keeping people out in the first place. Moomin had honestly mostly put it in to keep the wind from blowing the door open during storms.

 

Before he could think better of it, or even think at all Moomin had already rushed over to the front door and aggressively slammed the door shut before any of his compatriots could do more that peek a nose inside.

 

Once the door was shut he looked down at Little My, who, despite a growth spurt was still much smaller than him, and when he spoke found he hardly recognized his own voice. It seemed to have dropped a pitch or two recently, and being filled with anger he hadn’t realised he was capable of sending towards his friends, “What exactly do you think you’re doing breaking into people’s homes when they aren’t around? Are you going to take responsibility when they come back in the winter and find their door broken, and their things poked about in?”

 

There was a split second when everyone in their group was silently shocked. After all it was true that Moomintroll had a temper on him, but in all their years running about together he’d never expressed anything harsher than mild exasperation at any of them. Even when a scheme would go horribly wrong Moomintroll would never seem upset at anything more than the situation they were in. But now he seemed angry, and somehow very cold as he held the door of the mysterious house shut.

 

However Little My was never one to be intimidated or put off for more than a few seconds at a time. And she being the one who had been addressed was the first to break the strange silence that hung over them.

 

 “What do you think you’re doing acting so angry at me! Breaking the door was an accident! It’s not like I meant to do it! And anyway, since when do you get so mad about poking into other people’s business? We’ve done lots of things together much worse than poking around someone’s home! And anyways don’t you want to know more about the person who lives out here in the winter! What if they’re some sort of criminal on the run? Or even better, what if they’re very interesting, and we could be friends?”

 

Moomin stared down at Little My for a long moment after she was done speaking. She was right about him normally not being the one to question doing something of questionable legality.  And he knew that even with the situation as it was he had overreacted. However even despite knowing his behavior was strange he found he couldn’t simply let it go.

 

“You’re right. But I don’t think it’s okay to poke around someone’s home while they’re away…” Moomintroll thought for a moment, “Besides how would you feel if someone broke the door to Moominhouse while we were all away? I mean if you’re really curious why not just make a stakeout in the winter to see who it is. Besides look at this place. It’s clearly been here for a few years at least I’d say, if the person who lived here was scary or interesting then surely something would have already happened.”

 

After he was done speaking him and My simply stared at each other for a long time while everyone else stood there in uncomfortable silence. Until Little My spoke again, “Yes, I suppose you’re right. But you must admit that it’s weird that someone lives in so tiny a house out here that we haven’t met before.”

 

“Yes it’s odd, but don’t you remember that one winter when we woke up? Too-Ticky said there were many creatures like the invisible shrews who only come out during the winter. This is probably like that. Or even that strange skier that we met who follows the winter all around the world. But that’s not really the point. Let’s just go back to looking for seashells.”

 

Little My looked regretfully at the door Moomin was still holding shut, before quickly turning on her heel and shouting back that fine she wouldn’t break into people’s houses. Seemingly not willing to get into a real fight with Moomintroll on the subject.

 

Once Little My walked away the rest of their friends save for Snufkin started following after. Although now there was a horrible tenseness that followed their once jubilant group. Snufkin simply waited until Moomin started walking back to before joining him to quietly walk back.

 

Moomin quietly fumed while trying to calm himself down as they walked. Fighting back the stupid tears that wanted to come into his eyes. It just seemed to him that ever since he had once again found Mamma and Pappa, he hadn’t had a single moment alone. And even before that he’d had Sniff with him whenever he wasn’t running off with some sort of get rich quick scheme. 

 

And although this had been how he liked it, not being able to bare the feeling of being abandoned or alone. And even though at first he had hated the quiet of winter, the simple fact was that that wasn’t the case anymore.

 

It was an unpleasant realization that he was now he was as much a creature of winter as any other season, and with that much time spent only in his own company and occasionally the company of Too-Ticky, he had come to realise he really didn’t like it when people butted into his business. He simply hadn’t realized it before because he couldn’t see himself around the shape of his fear of being alone. But when My, Sniff, Snorkmaiden or anybody pushed themselves into his alone time, or worse his limited time with Snufkin, it made him angry. And now, although they didn’t know it, they were trying to butt into his winter time affairs. Which was the only time he really got to consider what he wanted.

 

It was only at the beach when he’d settled back to building his moat, while Snufkin messed about with the flute Moomin had given him that Moomin finally felt himself untense. Finding himself having a nice time enjoying the sun on his back, and the sound of the ocean waves crashing closeby. 

 

That is until he saw Little My whispering with the others about something. And since Little My wasn’t one to whisper, it meant that she was planning something. But before Moomintroll could storm over there and find out what was happening he felt Snufkin’s paw touch lightly on his shoulder.

 

“Moomin let’s go find some berries to pick. They may be up to no good, but I think you know as well as me that you can’t stop Little My once she puts her mind to something. Let’s do something fun and secretive instead of worrying about it.”

 

Moomin found himself unconsciously relaxing as a small smile was brought to his face. After all how could he stay upset when Snufkin talked about running off somewhere on their own? 

 

When it came to the Mumrik, Moomintroll simply couldn’t resist the lure of doing whatever the other suggested, and found it near impossible to keep still when so much happiness would flood his chest. 

 

 In fact it seemed as though the Mumrik was the only one who could make Moomin feel as happy and light as he used to feel most of the time. Not that he didn’t love his other friends, but with them he grew far to stressed far too quickly to properly enjoy their company for long periods of time. But Snufkin was easy to be around. He was so quiet. And he got this mischievous look in his eyes sometimes that meant trouble of the funnest variety was just around the corner.

 

Moomintroll not wanting to think too much about anything else grabbed Snufkin’s paw in his own and started running down the beach with him in tow. Unable to stop the laugh that bubbled out of his throat as they heard Little My and the others yelling after them, and feeling the wind hit his fur.

 

It was only once Moomintroll could no longer run for fear of not being able to regain his breath that he allowed his legs to stop. The Mumrik next to him seemingly worse off from their little sprint. Moomin felt much lighter as they stood in the clearing they’d run into.

 

It took a moment longer for Snufkin to catch his breath before he removed his paws from his knees and straightened his spine, “what’s come over you all of a sudden!” he asked still out of breath but seemingly greatly entertained.

 

“It just seemed so exciting to run off! I can’t help but enjoy the thrill of it all!”

 

Snufkin stared at Moomin for a long moment something seeming to light up his eyes from behind as the slits widened into circles, nearly eclipsing the brown of his eyes, “I supposed… I think it’s exciting too.”

 

___________

 

Snufkin loved the world. It was bigger than he would ever have a chance to see, and so busy that he couldn’t hope to understand it all. He loved to wander and followed the warm sun with the same compulsion that he had heard described by the migratory birds. 

 

Moreso he loved to be alone. When he was very small, he had been afraid of being alone. and he could admit, if only to himself, that before Moominvalley, before Moomin, he had still been afraid to be alone somewhere deep down. But now he had someplace to return to. Ones he loved, and who loved him in return without an ounce of selfishness to it. 

 

Even Moomintroll who always wanted him to stay, always looked at him with eyes filled with sorrow when the winter winds came in, loved him unconditionally. Understood that he had to go, and didn’t hold it against him.

 

At first he hadn’t been able to believe it. He had thought that the love was conditional somehow, and feared that if he didn’t return to Moominvalley every year that he would be forgotten. But even in years when he had been delayed, even by weeks at a time Moomintroll was always there waiting for him. 

 

Although in recent years he worried. Because although the others may only recently have been able to see it, Moomintroll was changing. Snufkin figured they were all changing. In the way that people changed as they grew up. 

 

Which, Snufking thought meant that they didn’t really change at all. He thought that most of the time all creatures simply became more of whatever they were deep down. And although that fact was true for all of them as they became proper adults, he thought maybe it was the most true for his Moomintroll. And that maybe his friend wasn’t exactly what he had thought him to be as he watched who he was becoming.

 

Of course he was still kind, and brave, and soft. He still loved his parents, his friends, and Snufkin. Still waited for him at the start of spring. But the past few years, he had gone just ever so slightly cold. Muted. Nowadays it seemed that the troll was slower than he used to be. Less quick to laugh, or even smile. And he seemed, still in a way he hadn’t been before, less likely to do that charming dance with his arms that he did when he became overwhelmingly happy. He was quieter.

 

At first Snufkin had thought that it was because Moomintroll and Snorkmaiden had broken up. That perhaps his friend was simply suffering from a broken heart. But nothing seemed to be a matter between the two of them. And when he had dared to bring it up with Moomin the troll had explained that while him and Snorkmaiden were wonderful friends, and always would be, their relationship had been shallow. Like children playing house by mimicking what they thought was love. And had gone on to say that it was for both their sakes that their relationship ended.

 

After that theory was knocked out, then Snufkin had worried that perhaps Moomintroll had simply grown tired of him. That perhaps like a shiny new toy he had simply lost his appeal as time went on. But it seemed when he watched how Moomintroll acted around everybody else that he was still very much loved.

 

Besides, any doubt about Moomintrolls affection had quickly faded away with each time that Moomintroll had grabbed him by the paw and run off somewhere just the two of them. 

 

Even now, as he lay in his tent thinking about Moomintroll, his paw pads still sticky with the juice of berries they had picked together all day, Snufkin knew that Moomintroll still cared for him. And although Snufkin maybe didn’t know the troll as well as he thought he had, he knew the other would never spend time with someone he didn’t want to. And he spent nearly every waking hour with Snufkin. Only disappearing on his own sometimes.

 

So now Snufkin simply thought that perhaps Moomin was not the troll he thought he was. Perhaps as Snufkin had put forth the face of being disinterested and distant, perhaps Moomin had acted less distant than he truly was.

 

No matter how much Snufkin knew logically that Moomin still enjoyed his company though, it was still strange. The quietness nagged at Snufkin. Even today now that they were a few weeks into spring, Snufkin kept having to urge Moomin into conversation. It used to be that he could simply sit quietly and Moomintroll would talk enough for both of them. But now unless he had something to tell Snufkin it seemed Moomintroll was happy to simply sit in silence. It also seemed that every sentence that Moomin spoke was, however accidentally, a perfectly acceptable end to a conversation. Each sentence seeming to indicate that although Moomintroll enjoyed talking to Snufkin he was also perfectly happy to leave it at that. Making it so that if Snufkin wanted to have a real conversation he was the one to have to drive it.

 

But now as he lay in his tent remembering how he had made Moomintroll laugh so much that he had fallen over, and let his arms flap around with happiness he was sure that they would be okay. 

 

And with the pleasant sureness of everything being sure to work out just fine Snufkin fell into a pleasant mid afternoon nap. 

 

Only to be unpleasantly shaken awake by Little My. 

 

Snufkin sat up quickly, claws already out, only to lower his hands once he realised who it was, “My, what are you doing here?” he asked not really bothering to hide his annoyance at being woken up.

 

Little My crossed her arms, “I’m here because I’m worried about Moomin,” she said, voice unusually serious, and sounding a bit concerned.

 

Snufking felt one eyebrow raise, “you’re worried about him? Why’s that?”

 

Little My rolled her eyes and put her hands on her hips, “well, because he’s been acting strange of course! Why else? Lately he’s been so quiet, and moody. And I’m sure you remember how odd he was when we found that little house. And you spend the most time with him, so I came here to talk to you!” Little My looked at Snufkin expectantly, arms crossing once more as she tapped one small foot on the ground.

 

“Oh. Well I suppose when you put it like that I see what you mean,” secretely thinking it was odd how much My’s thoughts mirrored his own, “I suppose lately he’s been acting a bit odd.”

 

At this Little My looked both satisfied and also slightly more concerned, “But you don’t know what’s wrong?” she asked.

 

Snufkin thought for a long moment, “I just assumed it was a part of growing up, but I’m honestly not sure what could be bothering him.”

 

Little My seemed to think this over for a long moment, “well I think it’s something more than that. I was hoping you’d know…” She sighed, “but if you aren’t sure either, than I guess I’ll just have to find out myself,” will you tell me if you find out?” she asked seeming very concerned.

 

Snufkin thought about it for a long moment before settling, “yes, if something is wrong I’ll tell you.”

 

With that the girl walked away, off to find trouble somewhere else.

 

After that Snufkin found it hard to go back to his peaceful drowsing. Now properly worried about what might be happening with his friend.

 

____

 

Moomin woke up early that morning to the sound of a whistle, and quickly sat up in bed. It was Snufkin! Moomin took a quick moment to collect himself, brushing his teeth, and grooming his fur a bit before grabbing his pack and clambering out the window.

 

Snufkin was waiting patiently below, wearing a small smile, and Moomintroll finds himself unable to keep from smiling back. Walking at Snufkin’s side as they set out. Snufkin probably taking them to show Moomin something wonderful, or simply wanting to go on a longer adventure that day. Snufkin begins playing the flute Moomin had gifted him as they got further away from Moominhouse. Moomin humming softly next to him as they walk.

 

After a while Moomin starts to think that he might know where they’re heading, and soon enough his suspicions are confirmed as they come upon the caves that house the hot springs.

 

When they enter the large cavern Moomintroll feels his shoulders relaxing in anticipation of a good soak and swim. Especially since even though the spring has come there’s still an undeniable chill in the air.

 

Moomin is the first into the water, having only a backpack to shed before sinking in to his nose. Feeling the water relax his muscles and warm him up to the bone as it soaks through his thick fur. He’s not looking forward to having to dry off his winter coat, but he thinks it’s worth it regardless.

 

Snufkin settled into the water nearby soon after, letting out a deep sigh of relief as he sank down into the hot water. Moomin lazily opening one of his eyes to glance over at the Mumrik, who’s leaning against the edge of the pool, his furry arms tucked behind his head as he soaks. They’re both silent for a long moment. So long in fact that when Snufkin speaks Moomin finds himself dragged away from the precipice of sleep. 

 

“I didn’t know you’d ever been here before Moomin. I thought sure I’d found something new for you to look at,” Snufkin said sounding very relaxed in the heat.

 

Moomin privately thought that was somewhat of a ridiculous idea. He had, after all, lived in Moominvalley much longer than Snufkin- wait.

 

His brain stuttered at this. He actually hadn’t lived here much longer than he’d known Snufkin had he? In fact he’d only found Mama and Papa a short while before him and Snufkin had met, maybe a month or two. And since he had hibernated for so many years how much longer had he really spent in Moominvalley than Snufkin? It couldn’t be that long really. Only a little more than eight winters, and in the winter Moominvalley was so different. It was practically a different world really.

 

Moomin was dragged out of his thoughts when Snufkin cleared his throat just slightly. Moomin looked over to see his friend with his eyes now open, and looking a bit concerned.

 

Moomin could hit himself. It felt like lately all he did was worry his friends and get lost in his own brain, “oh! Sorry Snufkin! What was the question again?”

 

Snufkin didn’t completely lose the concerned expression but he still kept talking, “It wasn’t really a question I suppose. Just lamenting that I can’t seem to find anything for you this year that you haven’t seen yet.”

 

“Oh don’t be silly Snufkin, I’m sure there’s at least a few things I haven’t seen. Although I admit this is not one of them. I come here quite often,” Moomintroll allowed himself to relax back into the water, happy to have been allowed to get the conversation back on track.

 

Snufkin paused for a long moment, “you come here often? I’m surprised you never told any of us about such a wonderful place,” Snufkins eyes lit with mischief as he said the next part, “how very sneaky of you to do such a thing Moomintroll keeping this place all to yourself! Perhaps Little My was right about you after all.”

 

Moomin laughed at his friends antics, “yes, My was right all the while! I’m a sneaky sneakerton, and I have more secrets than any troll has any right to!” Moomin and Snufkin laughed, even though it wasn’t all that funny of a joke. Moomin stopping when he realised that he actually did have quite a few secrets. And it immediately felt much less funny.

 

“How’d you stumble upon this place anyways, it’s very out of the way,” Snufkin asked seemingly just saying whatever popped into his head.

 

Moomin thinks for a moment about what to tell him, “Oh, well that’s easy. I was told about it by someone before you.”

 

Snufkin narrows his eyes at Moomin, “who told you?” he asked sounding somewhat incredulous, “and why wasn’t anyone else invited?”

 

Moomin hadn’t really thought that Snufkin would ask anything more and struggles for a moment to think of what to say, “Well it was in the winter actually. Too-Ticky showed me.”

 

Snufkins face turned thoughtful, “I forgot about that, there were those two winters when you didn’t hibernate weren’t there? I remember Moominmamma told by about it I think.”

 

“Yep. It’s all right though.”

 

Snufkins voice sounded much lighter when he next spoke, “yes it is fine now! After all it was only those two winters that you had trouble right?”

 

Moomin paused for a moment. He’d kept his winters a secret for six years now, but he’d never actually lied outright about it before. All his lies had always been of omission. And now to outright lie to Snufkin, it filled his stomach with a sick sort of feeling. Afterall Snufkin wasn’t like his parents, he didn’t have to take care of Moomintroll. He didn’t really have to lie to him. But for some reason it made him feel equally sick at the idea of telling him.

 

“Say, Snufkin. You can keep a secret can’t you?” Moomin asked after a long pause, carefully watching his friends face as it slipped back into attentiveness.

 

“Well of course I can keep a secret. Do you have a secret Moomintroll?” he asked voice going very quiet all of a sudden.

 

“I’m not sure if it’s a secret persay…” Moomintroll said, the water suddenly seeming stifling instead of relaxing, “It’s just something I haven’t mentioned before.”

 

“That sounds like a secret to me,” Snufkin replied. Moomin was silent for a long moment, wishing he hadn’t brought this up at all, “c’mon Moomin you can tell me,” Snufkin said in his soft voice.

 

“Okay, but you have to swear you won’t tell anybody okay?”

 

Snufkin nodded seriously, “I swear it.”

 

“Okay, well first of all I feel like I want to say it wasn’t really supposed to be a secret, it just sort of worked out that way,” Moomin took a deep breath, very much wishing he hadn’t started this stupid conversation, “but, I haven’t actually hibernated every year like everyone thinks,”

 

Snufkin looked like that hadn’t been at all what he had been expecting to hear, “what do you mean you don’t sleep all the way through the wintertime?” he asked sounding very confused.

 

Moomintroll felt guilty, “no… I actually haven’t been hibernating at all. For about eight years now actually. And I guess I might as well tell you that that was my house Little My and the others found in the woods the other day. I mean it’s where I’ve been living during the winters,” Moomintroll found that he couldn’t bring himself to look at his friend after speaking. Wishing there was some way that he could take back his words.

 

Snufkin was silent for a long long time, “you mean you’ve been all alone for that many winters?” Moomintroll looked up at Snufkin, surprised by how distraught his voice sounded, “You hate being alone though.”

 

Moomintroll rushed to speak, feeling terrible for distressing his friend so, “No! I mean it’s fine! I mean, I certainly was distraught by it the first few times it happened, but honestly I’m fine now! In fact, I quite enjoy the winter!” Moomintroll assured him.

 

Snufkin looked unconvinced, “but don’t you get lonely without anybody being awake?”

 

“Well of course I miss being around everybody, but I have Too-Ticky around when neither of us are busy. And anyways I don’t really get lonely about it anymore. I would think you would understand better than anybody that there’s a difference between looking forward to seeing someone and being lonely.”

 

Snufkin nodded, a thoughtful look coming to occupy his face, “and you really are okay spending all winter awake and by yourself?” he asked still seeming concerned, but much less distraught than before.  

 

“Oh yes, I really don’t mind at all! In fact if you didn’t need to leave for your migration then I’d want you to see it all. The winter is wonderful once you get to know it,” Moomintroll smiled a bit thinking about it, “it’s very cold, but the snow is beautiful, and makes everything so very quiet. And the sun is so bright, and there’s always something to do, but it’s slow paced enough to not feel manic.”

 

Snufkin looked a little bit bewildered, “my migration?”

 

Moomintroll blushed a bit at the incredulousness of Snufkins tone, but hoped that the heat of the water would explain it away, “well, yes. I was talking to a bird once as they were leaving Moominvalley, and they said they were migrating. It simply means that they go and chase the weather that they like best. And I thought that was just like you wasn’t it?”

 

“I suppose that is a lot like what I do now that you mention it…”

 

Moomin smiled, “yes. Well that’s my secret then.”

 

Snufkins face turned a bit more serious, “well, I’m glad you told me, but I have to wonder though. Why didn’t you tell anybody that you were all alone?”

 

“Well, I did tell everyone the first two years. But then the second year when Little My didn’t wake up with me… Well everyone was so worried! Mamma and Pappa were so concerned about me, but there wasn’t really anything to be done about it. So when they woke up the next year all worried, I told them it was fine. And it is fine now! But remember you promised not to tell, it’ll just worry them again if they find out now. I don’t want anybody to worry.”

 

“Okay, I won’t tell anybody.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

With that the two of them sank back into silence. It took awhile for Moomin to feel calm enough after their conversation to relax. However once he had, he once again found himself enjoying the hot waters. Liking the way his long fur, still left over from his winter coat, would fan out in the water, swaying gently when he moved his limbs around. 

 

Soon enough simply floating idly about grew boring, and Moomin swam over to Snufkin. The Mumrik was asleep as Moomin approached, and it was that moment that Moomin allowed himself an indulgence he was rarely allowed.

 

Moomintroll stared at Snufkin. It was hard to get a proper look at the Mumrik, what with his hat, scarf, long jacket, pants, boots, and his smoking pipe. So it was a very rare time indeed when Moomintroll got to unabashedly stare at his friend. Which Moomin felt was a horrible shame.

 

Snufkin, Moomin thought, was one of the most interesting creatures he had ever seen. Not only did Snufkin not really look like anybody that Moomin had seen before, but he was also, if Moomin was honest very beautiful. Something about his tanned skin, and freckles, and wild reddish hair made Moomin want to look at him more. Especially now that they had grown older, the Mumrik displaying traits he hadn’t when they were younger. The light peach fuzz that had always been present thickening into course little hairs, especially on his nose and body. And his growing antenna. It made Moomintrolls heart beat hard in his chest in a pleasant sort of way.

 

It occured to Moomin that he might be one of the only people in all of Moominvalley who knew about all these little details, and was almost definitely the only one who knew of Snufkins tail. Which the Mumrik kept tucked somewhere in his clothes, although why he did this Moomin couldn’t guess. It warmed Moomins heart to think that his friend trusted him enough to let his guard down around him. The mumrik even wore his clothes into the water to swim. 

 

Soon enough Snufkin heaved a sigh which meant he was about to wake up from his nap, and so Moomin gently shook his shoulder as though he hadn’t simply been sitting too close and staring. 

 

The Mumrik cracked open one eye and Moomin watched as the slitted pupils widened and slimmed as he woke up and took in the light. Moomin smiled down at him, enjoying the sleepy quality that Snufkins smile had when he returned it.

 

“Do you want to go fishing?” Moomin asked.

 

“Yep”

 

_________ 

 

Snufkin was idly napping alongside the river when he was suddenly under siege by Little My, who felt that jumping on someone's chest was a perfectly acceptable way to wake someone from what had been a very pleasant doze. This rude awakening ruined what Snufkin had been tentatively dubbing a very good day, in spite of the fact that Moomintroll hadn’t wanted to do anything that day, electing to go somewhere on his own.

 

Before Snufkin could even wake up fully enough to be annoyed Little My was already leaning into his face, eyes narrowed in annoyance, “well spit it out what’s wrong with Moomintroll!”

 

Snufkin still being a bit sleepy had to collect himself a bit before even thinking of replying. Little My clambering off him and crossing her arms in the meantime. 

 

“You spent almost all day with him yesterday! So I’m asking if you found out what’s wrong with him.”

 

Snufkin weighed his options. He had after all promised both Moomin and Little My different things. But Little My’s promise was a lot looser, if nothing was actually  _ wrong _ then he didn’t have to tell her Moomins secret.

 

“I talked to him, but nothings wrong. As far as I can tell he just enjoys some alone time,” Snufkin did his best to impart the next part of his sentence with as much sincerity as he could, “he’s okay.”

 

Little My’s mouth opened up into a little ‘o’ shape before turning into a contemplative frown. 

 

“You’re absolutely sure he’s okay?”

 

“He’s okay. Just different.”

 

With that Little My scampered off.

_______

  
  


The rest of the warm months in Moominvalley passed peacefully enough. It still made everyone a bit nervous when Moomintroll would turn quiet, or simply not be around at all. But as the spring passed into summer, it seemed that he thawed a bit. Making a real effort to be more sociable and friendly with his cohorts. And their days were once again spent having the funnest of adventures and mishaps.

 

After the hot months gave way, the days turned into the warm colors of fall, and things were calm. The residents of Moominvalley getting ready for parties and hibernation in equal as they waited for the first snow where everyone would go into their homes until spring once again woke them up. Everyone turning a queer combination of sleepy and excitable at this time of year.

 

Just now, all of Moominhouse was caught up in the preparations for their end of year party, where they celebrated what a wonderful year it had been, and said goodbye until they all woke up again. Although, like most parties that the Moomins threw, it was really just an excuse to have fun. After all, everyone in Moominvalley knew that the Moomins would throw a party for nearly any occasion.

 

______

 

The end of year party was nearly ready, and so was Moomin. The first snow of the year would probably be tomorrow or the next day, according to Too-Ticky, and after having helped Moominmamma in the kitchen, and Moominpappa with decorations and other details Moomin had a moment to himself. Which he was using to get the last of his things in order to make his trip over to his winter home.

 

Once he was done he carefully slid his bag under his bed, and stood up, looking around at his room. Not a moment too soon either since as soon as he was done there was a slight knocking on his window, revealing Snufkin who was perched on his sill.

 

Moomin could feel a smile coming onto his face. No matter how much he enjoyed solitude, being apart from his friend was always difficult, and it was good to see him.

 

“Snufkin it’s nice to see you. What brings you to my window?”

 

Snufkin smiled as he clambered into Moomins room, “just came over to see how the party preparation is going.”

 

“Oh just fine! I already finished all of my jobs, now we just have to wait for people to start arriving. Are you thinking of celebrating with us tonight?”

 

Snufkin suddenly seemed a bit nervous and started to ring his hands together a bit, his face hidden under his hat as Moomin spoke.

 

“you don’t have to if you don’t want to of course!” Moomin quickly said, not wanting the other to be in any way uncomfortable, “I understand if you don’t want to come!”

 

“Oh, no, it's not that I don’t want to go. It’s just that there seems to be one small problem.”

 

Moomin tilted his head to the side, “problem?”

 

When Snufkin looked up from under his hat his face was pink in a way that made his lovely spots stand out. For some reason Moomintroll felt his heart beat a bit faster at this sight. 

 

“Yes. A problem.”

 

“What sort of problem?”

 

“Well, it’s a party right?”

 

Moomin nodded.

 

“Well, that means there is bound to be dancing. And for this sort of event isn’t it customary to bring a partner to the party?”

 

Moomintroll was a bit stumped by this logic, “well… I suppose that a lot of people bring a partner with them… But you can still go if you don’t have a partner. Loads of people don’t bring anyone, I’m not bringing anyone either,”

 

Snufkins expression fell as Moomin finished talking, and he worried that he had somehow missed something very important. Moomin could feel himself start to fret, trying to go over the conversation in his head to figure out exactly what cue he had missed.

 

But luckily enough Snufkin spoke first, “I think I’ve been too subtle.”

 

Moomin sighed in relief. Snufkin never was one to leave him floundering when conversations took twists or turns he couldn’t follow. So Moomin nodded, “yes maybe a bit too subtle!”

 

Snufkins face turned an even more attractive shade of red before speaking again, “I was wondering if you would be my partner to the dance.”

 

It took Moomintroll a long moment to process Snufkins words, his brain feeling rather similar to a desert with a tumbleweed being blown across. And when his brain caught up with the conversation Moomin could feel his face turn brighter pink than even a Snork could probably manage.

 

He wanted to dance and jump for joy, but there was a worry in his heart. 

 

Moomin had loved Snufkin almost since they had met. It had taken him time to realize that what he felt was not simply what one feels for their friends, but he had known for a long time that he was in love with the Mumrik. But was this a real date? And did Snufkin feel the same? What if Moomin tried to kiss him, or tried to tell him how happy he was and it turned out the Mumrik had simply been seeking a dance partner for the night?

 

All at once it seemed too much to handle. The happiness at being asked paired with the dread of misunderstanding the situation made him suddenly burst into tears. 

 

Given that Moomintroll was not one to cry this alarmed Snufkin greatly. Who in turn started anxiously fluttering about. Asking why Moomin was crying, and if it was his fault.

 

After a few moments Moomin was able to compose himself enough to let out some shaky sounding words, “are you asking me as a friend or as a date?” he asked, horribly embarrassed. And feeling more than a little worried that it had been a date and he had just ruined it.

 

Snufkins face once again turned red, but his little paws settled onto Moomins own despite his embarrassment. His voice was weak and uncertain when he spoke, “would it upset you if I had been asking you on a date?”

 

Moomin nearly started bawling again, but instead found his emotions too light for tears, and his arms instead found themselves separating from Snufkins and flapping a bit in the air as Moomin danced a bit. Feeling as though he might burst if he didn’t find an outlet for his happiness.

 

Snufkin was smiling when Moomin focused on him again, “I wouldn’t be upset at all! I’d be quite glad in fact!”

 

With that Snufkin started beaming, showing off his perfectly pointed little teeth, “then I would like it if you would go to the party with me.”

 

Moomin could hardly hold in his happiness. In fact he couldn’t, and so he did what he had wanted to do for a very long time and leaned forward and kissed Snufkin. Being sure to be gentle with Snufkins smaller nose. Snufkin stilled for a moment before returning the kiss. His small nose rubbing into Moomins snout gently.

 

When Moomin leaned back to look at Snufkin, he knew that he might never see anything as beautiful as the sight that greeted him. The Mumriks eyes were shining bright, his pupils blown out in happiness and surprise, and wrinkled on the sides by his pink glowing cheeks. Moomin thought he could spend his whole life just staring at his face and tracing the constellations of his freckles.

 

Then it occured to Moomin that they had already kissed, so he probably could. So he let himself touch snufkins face, tracing along his cheek, “you’re freckles are like stars you know.”

 

Snufkin looked embarrassed at this but kept eye contact, holding Moomins paw with his own as they looked at each other, “so you want to go to the party with me then?” he asked, smile turning mischievous again.

 

“Oh very much so yes!”

 

_______ 

 

That night nearly all of Moominvalley showed up for the Moomins end of year bash. Everyone dancing, and singing, and eating to their heart's content. Enjoying the last days before they would go to sleep for the winter.  

 

The two who danced the hardest, although not the best. And who laughed the most were Moomin and Snufkin. Spending the whole night wrapped in each others arms, or holding onto each other. It was as though the rest of the world had simply faded away into a pleasant haze. Both of them too happy to even mind the teasing of people who had predicted their love, and been impatient for them to realize their own feelings.

 

At the end of the night everyone was warm and tired and full. Many having retired, or made themselves quite comfortable wherever they had dropped off after their dancing. 

 

The end of the night found Snufkin and Moomin cuddled up in Snufkins tent, simply smiling at each other and occasionally giving small kisses when they wanted to. 

 

The both of them talking for a long time about how long they had loved one another. How scared they had been to tell the other in case they broke their friendship. And how happy they were to know the other felt the same.

 

_______

 

The next day found Moominvalley in the first day of winter. By the time the first flake of snow was falling in the air nearly everyone in the valley was snug in their warm beds dreaming of the next spring.

 

Near the path that led out of Moominvalley stood Moomin and Snufkin. They held each other tight for a long time. Each of them only separating with the promise of seeing each other soon, and the many kisses and hugs that would follow their reunion.

 

When Moomintroll returned to his home after seeing Snufkin off, he was surprised to find a note on the door which simply read, “Sorry For Breaking Your Door,” with a replaced lock, and some raspberry jam. The gift from Little My, made his soul feel light. Her apology making him feel once again reassured of the strength of their friendship, even if she didn’t know it was his home.

 

That night Moomin laid down on his array of blankets in front of his dwindling fire and smiled. Thinking of Snufkins smile, his pink cheeks, and how they had danced at the party. His mind flitting forward in happy anticipation of all the adventures they would go on during the next spring. Thinking of the tune that Snufkin might play for him on his flute when he returned.

 

Moomintroll fell asleep with love in his heart. 

 

And that warm affection stayed there, warming him all through the winter. Making any loneliness he ever felt seem like nothing in the face of how bright his heart burned in his chest. He carved presents, went about his winter rituals, all the while happier than he might have ever been. Enjoying his time to himself, but rejuvenated in his time alone. 

 

______

 

Moomin was already moved back into Moominhouse for the year when he heard the first song of spring echoing through the valley. The sound sweeter than any jam, and almost as beautiful as the Mumrik who was playing it.

 

Moomintrolls legs carried him swiftly from Moominhouse. Down the ladder, and through their front lawn, down the path. And finally to where Snufkin was. 

 

When Snufkin saw Moomin approaching him at a run, he dropped his things and started running as well. Both of them smiling and laughing the whole way.

 

When they reached each other in the middle Moomintroll was overwhelmed with happiness. So overcome that he lifted Snufkin into the air. The both of them laughing the whole while. Spinning through the field of spring blooms.

 

When he settled Snufkin back on the ground they shared a kiss, eyes shining in happiness. 

 

A lot has changed since they were young. But their love had always been there. And Moomintroll and Snufkin both know that although the world is always changing, the important things stay the same.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Oh ps, I have a blog on tumblr called moominvalleylove where I post art and cute stuff about Moomins! So follow me there if you want to talk about Moomins or anything!  
> Oh and my main writing blog where I also answer things is ineverwritebutwhatever although that's more general writing stuff.


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